Screen Time Fears

I was talking recently with a friend who also has kids and is learning more about unschooling, and "screen time" was mentioned specifically. I got to thinking more and more about it and this Facebook post came up in a search.

But when screens (computer game) started creeping in, at first I thought it sent my son moody and distant and didn't want to be with us, but then a very wise lady said that this type of behaviour often stems from the disconnection of leaving them on screens all day and not engaging with them.  -anonymous author

If parenting is no more than greasing squeaky wheels, no more than dealing with emergencies, the solid longterm effects of unschooling will not form, and that family will look back weakly at unschooling, wondering if it couldn't have been better.  -Sandra Dodd

-=--He self regulates -=-
He chooses to play outside, or to play on the iPad, or to play with Lego, or to get a snack, or to take a nap, or to draw, or write, or spin with his eyes closed.
Chooses. Makes choices.
Do not buy a can of cheap "self-regulate" and mess up something otherwise deeply and profoundly life-affirming.   -Sandra Dodd

[Following a long description of a conversation about game design and development with her 13yo son]None of this is apparent if you just stand and watch him at his computer. As much as I interact with him and pay attention to what he is doing and ask him questions and support him, I didn't realize how deeply he was now learning and conceptualizing.
Being moody and distant might just as easily be thinking hard, creating, brainstorming and troubleshooting.    -Sue Sullivan

I've read all this before. My parents are (or perhaps were... we haven't talked about it in a few years) strict with screens (more so in the last 7 or so years than they were before technology started getting more and more kid-friendly) and shared their screen time thoughts, books, articles, and such with their kids, those still at home and those married and gone. As a result of that part of my world being so heavy with one-side information, I still find myself a little fearful at times and needing to read/write about whether I'm doing the right thing or not by my kids nearly every time I get into a conversation about it.

Back when I was getting earfuls of information from family, there was a lot of articles available online stating things like "heavy screen timers were nearly twice as likely to have above average attention deficit problems" and "watching TV or playing computer games for more than two hours a day is related to greater psychological difficulties irrespective of how active children are." 

That was 2010. Now in 2018, articles are starting to tell a different story: 
There is no concrete evidence that supports the common view that technology use is inherently harmful. [T]he positive effects of a good night’s sleep and regular breakfasts on wellbeing are three times stronger than the negative effects of technology use. -Amy Orben, theguardian.com

The key, say the authors of the UNICEF report, is "taking a Goldilocks approach" — not too much, not too little — and "focusing more on what children are doing online and less on how long they are online." -Anya Kamenetz, NPR

'If anything, our findings suggest the broader family context, how parents set rules about digital screen time, and if they're actively engaged in exploring the digital world together, are more important than the raw screen time. Future research should focus on how using digital devices with parents or care-givers and turning it into a social time can effect children's psychological wellbeing, curiosity, and the bonds with the caregiver involved.' -Dr Andrew Pryzbylski

It's looking more and more to me like the answer to the technology question is not to impose strict time limits, nor is it to let technology always be a babysitter. Rather, bring yourself as the parent, care-giver, and interest-encourager closer to the person using the technology. Get closer, more present, more involved to learn about what they are so interested in with them. Being closer will facilitate your ability to see how much and what "good" they are getting out of the time they spend with technology, and your ability to help them expand beyond their own little personal space into the whole wide world, where new information is stumbled upon at every turn. And it will facilitate your ability to help them navigate through any potentially dangerous situations they might need help with, which is a common fear among parents with kids into social gaming.

More reading about unschoolers and screen time at Sandra Dodd's website:

http://sandradodd.com/screentime/

Don't disparage it. Don't call it "screen time." Call it what it is - playing that particular game.
Change your approach. Instead of focusing on limiting it and explaining how it is bad, see it as a jumping-off point for all kinds of experiences and conversations! Unschooling is about supporting learning, not by limiting the child's access to what he/she loves, but by expanding a child's access to the world.  -Pam Sorooshian

http://sandradodd.com/screentime.html

When the parents are watching how their kids are learning, when they embrace all that is available, when they ask themselves "WHY do I fear this? " they will stop and really see unschooling working and their children learning.  -Alex Polikowsky

http://sandradodd.com/t/economics

When you restrict an activity, you keep the person at the point where the marginal utility is really high.  -Pam Sorooshian

A little bit about tech and sleep:
In our house, we talk with the kids a lot about what we as parents learn online, in books, in conversations with other people, and everywhere else. One thing we've come to understand for our family is how important it is to us to get enough quality sleep. We feel more energetic, in better moods, and better prepared to like life when we get enough quality sleep. However, we have no bed "times" here, just sleep as long as you need. 

We've read a little about the effect certain lighting has on sleep quality, and determined (along with the 10yo, who is old enough to understand) that it's probably a good idea to give our brains a little space between the blue-light of electronic screens and sleep more often. This space between is more important to me and DH than it is to 10yo DD, since she really can sleep as late as she needs to on every day of the week except one, and even that day is a later start day for her by 3 hours than it is for me, so we try not to see it as an issue for her. However, we do talk it through with her on the day before she does have a reason to be up out of bed earlier and help her make a choice she's comfortable with. 

There are light filters and settings available for computers/tablets/phones to help ease the blue-light and sleep transition. My phone is set to switch to a warmer light tone at 7pm. I haven't set it up on other tech devices in my house, but now that I'm writing about it, I think it's something we'll do soon.

Kitchen sink replacement

I have been perusing the KSL classifieds constantly for a good deal on a stainless steel sink. We had a cast iron sink that, while it kept the water hot, I hated. It was always stained. It felt like I was going to break every glass dish I washed in it. I didn't even ever fill it with water to take advantage of the keeping-water-hot feature.

Anyway, here is the sink right after I paid $15 for it
And here is the old sink in all its dirty glory.
Just making sure it fits! Haha...
All done! It took about 3 hours total.

The absolute hardest part was getting the old sink out. It was HEAVY! And then I thought I could salvage the sink basket strainers (the drains) from the old sink, which was an awful idea. I ended up cutting my hand up on the rough underside of the sink while trying to unscrew the bolt that held the drains on. So I just went to the home improvement store and bought a couple of cheapo drains to install.

Now that the project is finished (one of my fasted projects yet!) I am so incredibly happy with the results. I love knowing that I can do almost anything... assuming I have an internet connection to Google the instructions.

Does anyone want a cast iron sink? It's 8" deep, normal sink size as far as width and depth go.

My new haircut

I got tired of the boring A-line cut I had, so I went to the salon (a real one this time... I usually just go to Great Clips... they're great, but not awesome) and had the stylist give me a new shorter cut and show me how to style it. No one has ever shown me how to do my hair...

Anyways, here it is. Now the test is to see if I can replicate it myself.
James says that it's too pretty a cut for me. I think he means it looks like it takes more time to do than I am usually willing to put into a hair-do. We'll see how it goes.

Just in case I forget - Batch convert PDF to JPEG using Adobe Acrobat Pro

Choose Advanced > Document Processing > Batch Processing to open the dialog.

1. Click New Sequence.
2. Name the sequence in the field that displays.
3. In the Edit Batch Sequence dialog that displays (lots of dialog boxes here!) click Select Commands to open another dialog named Edit Sequence. There are a list of commands at the left. Scroll through and find one that is fairly innocuous, such as Flatten Layers and click Add to move it into the active command list. Click OK to return to the aforementioned Edit Batch Sequence dialog.
4.Click Output Options.
5. In the Output Options dialog, click the Export File(s) to Alternate Format button, click the dropdown arrow and choose JPEG.
6. Click OK twice to return to the original Batch Sequences dialog.
7. Click Run Sequence to try it.

Courtesy of dbaker at http://www.acrobatusers.com/forums/aucbb/viewtopic.php?id=2934

Not so idle scribble

Today (June 21st) is the most wonderful day of this time of year. It’s the summer solstice, first day of summer, and Atheist Solidarity day. It ultimately is a day of protest, celebration, and awareness-raising. Only in solidarity can atheists create a world in which atheists everywhere can be open about their lack of belief in god and not fear any harmful consequence. I want to take time to celebrate the day by officially “coming out” of the atheist closet. From here on out (and for some time already) I am going to rely on reason, logic, and evidence for my decision-making. I’m not the one who believes in invisible creatures like fairies, ghosts, goblins, demons, angels, and a god who is running around reading all of our thoughts and judging every little thing we do. I’m not the one who believes in childish concepts like heaven and hell. I’m not the one who requires the threat of eternal damnation in order to act ethically.

I am one of 25 million freethinkers in this country who will not follow blindly and who feel free to demand proof, or at least logically sound theory. The fact is that there is nothing shameful about atheism. Rather, it should be viewed as a major accomplishment. Most people stick with the religion in which they were raised, never thinking or examining the reasons why. Those that switch religions (or sects of a particular religion) often never truly question the belief in a god. Those that do should be proud that they have searched and reached an educated conclusion, and so am I.

As an atheist, I have broken out of the cycle of doing what I’m told because someone says God says so. I think for myself, I am self reliant, and I am responsible for my own actions and decisions.

Call me atheist, agnostic, freethinker, whatever. I am Leisel, and this is me. Like it or not, I am what I am.

Thank you for your time. And as always, I mean no offense.

The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality. ~George Bernard Shaw, Irish playright

Finished my scarf, and another random picture

What do you think? If I made $6 for every hour I worked on this scarf, I would have made at least $50! Too bad no one will buy a scarf for more than $15...

Anyway, here are the pics.

(I'm so ugly in this picture because I showered a few hours earlier, and didn't do my hair or face yet)She's not sleeping. She's just multi-tasking watching tv and "talking" on my phone. I thought this was a really funny sight, so I am sharing it with you.

Routines vs. Spontaneity

One side:

"Routines are the glue that bonds life."

Routines give life a pace and a palette, a clock, a timber and tone. Like it or not, we are creatures of habit. Even if we try to break routines, the attempt to break them is a routine in itself.

I feel that for some people, routines are a difficult thing to keep to. There are also people who need routines to feel safe or secure. I place myself in the middle. I wash my drinking glasses the same way every time. I have a little routine for brushing my teeth. Yet, putting all these little routines into one big routine is difficult for me.

Now the other side:

"The essence of pleasure is spontaneity"

One person put it this way: "Routines are the tar-baby that bonds and gags life"

Having a life that is too routine and structured isn't healthy; as human beings, we do most of our growing and developing when faced with new challenges and situations.

On the other hand, a life with no consistency isn't healthy either. Many things in life only become truly rewarding after many hours of effort (or discipline, routine, whatever you want to call it).

My thoughts on this side is that my whole purpose of living is to be happy and keep from getting hurt. So by living spontaneously, I add more excitement into my life. Routines look dull and unexciting to me. Granted, reckless spontaneity can be dangerous and can hurt me, but I plan on avoiding anything reckless.

In conclusion, here is my final thought on routines vs spontaneity: I have no reason to live the same day twice. Why would I want to fill my days doing stuff I've already done? There is so much to learn! So much to discover! However, my little routines are my way of finding perfection. I'd have to say the weight of importance for these two ideas are 25%-Routine 75%-Spontaneity.