Screen Time Fears

I was talking recently with a friend who also has kids and is learning more about unschooling, and "screen time" was mentioned specifically. I got to thinking more and more about it and this Facebook post came up in a search.

But when screens (computer game) started creeping in, at first I thought it sent my son moody and distant and didn't want to be with us, but then a very wise lady said that this type of behaviour often stems from the disconnection of leaving them on screens all day and not engaging with them.  -anonymous author

If parenting is no more than greasing squeaky wheels, no more than dealing with emergencies, the solid longterm effects of unschooling will not form, and that family will look back weakly at unschooling, wondering if it couldn't have been better.  -Sandra Dodd

-=--He self regulates -=-
He chooses to play outside, or to play on the iPad, or to play with Lego, or to get a snack, or to take a nap, or to draw, or write, or spin with his eyes closed.
Chooses. Makes choices.
Do not buy a can of cheap "self-regulate" and mess up something otherwise deeply and profoundly life-affirming.   -Sandra Dodd

[Following a long description of a conversation about game design and development with her 13yo son]None of this is apparent if you just stand and watch him at his computer. As much as I interact with him and pay attention to what he is doing and ask him questions and support him, I didn't realize how deeply he was now learning and conceptualizing.
Being moody and distant might just as easily be thinking hard, creating, brainstorming and troubleshooting.    -Sue Sullivan

I've read all this before. My parents are (or perhaps were... we haven't talked about it in a few years) strict with screens (more so in the last 7 or so years than they were before technology started getting more and more kid-friendly) and shared their screen time thoughts, books, articles, and such with their kids, those still at home and those married and gone. As a result of that part of my world being so heavy with one-side information, I still find myself a little fearful at times and needing to read/write about whether I'm doing the right thing or not by my kids nearly every time I get into a conversation about it.

Back when I was getting earfuls of information from family, there was a lot of articles available online stating things like "heavy screen timers were nearly twice as likely to have above average attention deficit problems" and "watching TV or playing computer games for more than two hours a day is related to greater psychological difficulties irrespective of how active children are." 

That was 2010. Now in 2018, articles are starting to tell a different story: 
There is no concrete evidence that supports the common view that technology use is inherently harmful. [T]he positive effects of a good night’s sleep and regular breakfasts on wellbeing are three times stronger than the negative effects of technology use. -Amy Orben, theguardian.com

The key, say the authors of the UNICEF report, is "taking a Goldilocks approach" — not too much, not too little — and "focusing more on what children are doing online and less on how long they are online." -Anya Kamenetz, NPR

'If anything, our findings suggest the broader family context, how parents set rules about digital screen time, and if they're actively engaged in exploring the digital world together, are more important than the raw screen time. Future research should focus on how using digital devices with parents or care-givers and turning it into a social time can effect children's psychological wellbeing, curiosity, and the bonds with the caregiver involved.' -Dr Andrew Pryzbylski

It's looking more and more to me like the answer to the technology question is not to impose strict time limits, nor is it to let technology always be a babysitter. Rather, bring yourself as the parent, care-giver, and interest-encourager closer to the person using the technology. Get closer, more present, more involved to learn about what they are so interested in with them. Being closer will facilitate your ability to see how much and what "good" they are getting out of the time they spend with technology, and your ability to help them expand beyond their own little personal space into the whole wide world, where new information is stumbled upon at every turn. And it will facilitate your ability to help them navigate through any potentially dangerous situations they might need help with, which is a common fear among parents with kids into social gaming.

More reading about unschoolers and screen time at Sandra Dodd's website:

http://sandradodd.com/screentime/

Don't disparage it. Don't call it "screen time." Call it what it is - playing that particular game.
Change your approach. Instead of focusing on limiting it and explaining how it is bad, see it as a jumping-off point for all kinds of experiences and conversations! Unschooling is about supporting learning, not by limiting the child's access to what he/she loves, but by expanding a child's access to the world.  -Pam Sorooshian

http://sandradodd.com/screentime.html

When the parents are watching how their kids are learning, when they embrace all that is available, when they ask themselves "WHY do I fear this? " they will stop and really see unschooling working and their children learning.  -Alex Polikowsky

http://sandradodd.com/t/economics

When you restrict an activity, you keep the person at the point where the marginal utility is really high.  -Pam Sorooshian

A little bit about tech and sleep:
In our house, we talk with the kids a lot about what we as parents learn online, in books, in conversations with other people, and everywhere else. One thing we've come to understand for our family is how important it is to us to get enough quality sleep. We feel more energetic, in better moods, and better prepared to like life when we get enough quality sleep. However, we have no bed "times" here, just sleep as long as you need. 

We've read a little about the effect certain lighting has on sleep quality, and determined (along with the 10yo, who is old enough to understand) that it's probably a good idea to give our brains a little space between the blue-light of electronic screens and sleep more often. This space between is more important to me and DH than it is to 10yo DD, since she really can sleep as late as she needs to on every day of the week except one, and even that day is a later start day for her by 3 hours than it is for me, so we try not to see it as an issue for her. However, we do talk it through with her on the day before she does have a reason to be up out of bed earlier and help her make a choice she's comfortable with. 

There are light filters and settings available for computers/tablets/phones to help ease the blue-light and sleep transition. My phone is set to switch to a warmer light tone at 7pm. I haven't set it up on other tech devices in my house, but now that I'm writing about it, I think it's something we'll do soon.